During our college years, while watching movies like Dil Chahata hai or Zindagi na milegi dobara or 3 idiots,we all might have wondered or even questioned, Do these kinds of friendships really exist ?
A group of friends , who are part of each others life 24 X 7 , know all about the good ,bad and the ugly side of you and still dont judge you. The ones you can laugh heartily with or more importantly cry your heart out. They are part of every faux pas of your life and are still proud of you. The fights amongst you are superficial and no matter how big it is, you aren’t scared of losing them. you have awesome memories with them and the most important thing is, you know ,that come what may they will always be there for you whenever you need them.They are Gods most precious gifts for you, your proverbial 3 Am friends,the friends for all seasons.
Do you have one such friend?
if you have , you are one of the few privileged ones in this world.Trust me, most of us dont.The fact of the matter is, that, you don’t need a group , even if you have one such person in your life ,he or she can help you weather any storm in your life.That one person can be the adrenalin rush you need or the calming influence when you are anxious.In simpler terms, he or she could be the balancing factor at various points in your life.This one person can say the most mean things to your face to keep you grounded or ,if need be, can lie so smoothly to make you fly.This person can read your heart and your mind when you are in the dilemma or just a low sounding ‘hello’ from you on the phone , makes him/her know what is amiss.
These kinda people are absolute gifts from the GOD,the true treasures of ones life !!
But, why dont i have any such friend? or
how can i get one such gem?
here it is, my simple tip, on how to find or get one such sunshine in your life.
lets start by analyzing ourselves, we always look at people around us and wonder, where is that one person, that you have been wanting all your life.You have so many poeple around, but you still are practically alone.
The fact is,every person around us, is also looking at the people around and thinking exactly the same thing. now we all are in a scenario where, we are all seeking something and not thinking about giving.
Have you ever thought of being someone’s sunshine? someone’s 3 am buddy ?
Are you willing to spare time from your busy lives to fill in for someone when they need you?
Are you willing to prioritize someone over your own self?
Have you tried to, go out of the way, to accommodate someone’s request or fulfil someone’s need ??
if you have never done so, or ,if you do it once in a while, imagine, you are now looking for a someone who does exactly the same thing for you EACH AND EVERYTIME you need it . you are seeking something that you have never given.
My idea is pretty simple, if each one of us decides to be someone’s 3am friend, a friend for all seasons, then there is a possibility that someday ,we all will have that one person in our lives. Make no mistake , being there for someone at all times, is not easy and it might not be reciprocated too. You might end up being taken for granted, But, the beauty of such people is, that they are selfless. They are not expecting the other person to return the same or even have similar feelings or attachments towards them. Never, I say Never, expect the person you feel so strongly for ,to have the same feelings for you. If they do, grab it with both hands, coz you are now the richest person in the world.
As you finish reading this write up, make yourself a promise, that you will try and be someone’s man friday, and someday you will be lucky to have your own.
Junaid Khateeb can be reached at
Come August and its celebration time. For we Indians, the end of august marks the beginning of the most joyful time of the year. It marks the beginning of our festive season ,which goes on ,almost till the year end. We are loud, we are hyper,we are colourful and that’s how we like celebrating. That’s how we have always been and will always be.
The festive season has just kicked off, from janmashtami to raksha bandhan to Ganesh chaturthi to Eid to Durga puja to Diwali , going all the way to Christmas, they keep coming.
Along with the festivals, the crusaders on the social media to get hyper active and start pushing the agenda of ECO FRIENDLY festivals. Less water, no synthetic colours ,no fire crackers , no this ,no that , the just keep going on. But, personally ,I DON’T support them nor do I buy or want the idea of eco friendly, safe and non polluting festivals. No , I am not a jerk, I am being logical.
In august, The supreme court , refused to change or relax the restriction ,that the lower court had put on the height of DAHI HANDI during the festival of janmashtami. It said it wont permit a height of more than 20 ft for the human pyramid,as it is dangerous . Also ,earlier the high court had disallowed children below the age of a8 from participating in the pyramid formation.
Building up to the festival, a prominent leader in Maharashtra openly refused to accept the order and asked ‘HIS’ people to go ahead and do as they wish. The issue here was not about,what the court had said, it was more about, ‘THEY’ interfere in ‘OUR’ religious matters and not ‘THEIRS’.
On the occasion of Eid-AL-Adha (Bakri Eid), the ask for an eco- friendly (read blood less)Eid grew and the reason cited was, why only ‘OUR’ festivals are targetted and not ‘THEIRS’.
I am no expert on religion or on ill effects of pollution and stuff, but purely as a lay man all I know is, festivals are supposed to unite us and give joy to one and all.
We have shared the puran poli’s and sheer khurma’s to easter eggs thinking of the festivals as our own. The thought of ‘MINE’ and ‘THEIR’ has never crossed our minds and it never will.
I don’t mind , if few people suffer by falling in dahi handi or get injured in Muharram procession or get skin infection due to chemical based colours or inhale a little more of poisonous gases from the fire crackers. This number will be small (hopefully) and only the unfortunate few will suffer on short or long term basis.
Agreed, that it does affect all of us in a longer run, but it will kill us slowly ,without letting us know and over a period of time. On the other hand if this OUR’s and THEIR’s debate flares up and it keeps growing, it will spoil the secular and friendly fabric of the nation ,thereby killing the entire nation at once. Hence, I choose to sacrifice a few unfortunate ones for the larger interest of the nation. We have survived the Mughals to British to World wars only because of our unity and I don’t want to give that up for any reason whatsoever.
So, let the decibels go up , lets increase the height of pyramids, lets not bother about the pollution or and other damage, they will hurt us in a way much smaller than what the communal polarization of our nation will do.
Note: I know,lot of people might find evil intentions in this post as well, coz unfortunately lot of us interpret stuff , not based on what is written, but who has written it.
Well, let me start by telling you a little story. Sorry, but I did steal these from the diaries of two people, here goes the excerpts from the first one
From the diary of Ameya Desai,
15th Dec 1989:
Its my 8th birthday and I am ecstatic to be selected in the junior volleyball team at my school, I am surely going to be a great athlete in future, may be some day play for my country at international level.
4th April 1995 :
Wow, I loved riding my new motor cycle today, I always wanted this one and it was great zooming past everyone else like a wind….oooooooooooooooooo felt like I flew today.
6th june 1999:
Biggest day of my life so far, finally got admission to one of the most reputed colleges for engineering in computer science, I am going to rock the course and will surely be the envy of others. I know I have it in me.
17th August 2003:
Just can’t believe this , admission to the dream university in USA is now a reality. Wooo hooo, off to USA tomorrow night, here I come uncle Sam, the world is now mine and I surely will conquer it.
5th Jan 2004:
Cant believe I met her,I knew it was meant to be like this and I knew it since the day I saw here, my batch mate today and I know my soul mate forever.Life cant be more beautiful!!!!
18th March 2005:
Yess yess, it had to be me,I slogged for it, worked for it and now finally got it. Placed from campus with the biggest software giant , and my package, well I wont reveal here , you would be jealous. Ha ha ha!
13th January 2007:
Finally the D-Day has arrived, great to have my mom blessing me on this important day . Finally I am not single anymore, sorry bachelors, I leave your community.
11th September 2012:
Feels great to move into our own 4000 sq ft home in the downtown, will cherish this moment for life.
16th April : 2016
Never knew I would be heading the entire clan at this company, position,power and an awesome pay package, well life looks complete today.
From the diary of Pankaj Desai (Ameya’s Dad),
13th june 1985:
Just dropped Ameya to school, his first day at school, was a bit cranky so had to stay back for sometime, missed my office today , but I guess being with him on the first day at school was more important, office can wait.
4th April 1993 :
Ameya has become a teenager today , need to start saving a little more, will cut down further on my expenses, growing child, his needs will definitely be on the rise, let me be ready.
6th june 1998:
Ameya is doing well at junior college , am sure he will be eligible for admission to a good engineering college next year. I just applied for funds from my provident fund ,will have to keep the fees ready, my child is brilliant and I will make sure that he does not lose this great opportunity to learn.
14th April 2003:
Just finalized the deal for the only piece of land that I owned. Ameya is supposed to fly for his MS in August, needed money to pay his fees, dollar has become too expensive. But then, all my property was meant for him only, no regrets.
15th March 2004:
Ameya just left back for USA, he was here for a month on his vacation. He has grown up so much in last one year. These foreign Universities make them work too much, I am worried, looks like he’s not taking care of his health it seems, but he looked happy and hence I am grateful to GOD. Let me take your leave for today, have a doctor’s appointment, my back has been giving some problem since last few months.
18th March 2005:
Ameya got placed in a huge company, he sounded so happy on phone. Wanted to get up and jump and dance but at my age the health doesn’t let the body be itself, though I am relaxing in the arm-chair, all of me is dancing within.
5th January 2007:
My wife just left for Ameya’s wedding on 13th. The back problem and slipped disc prevented me from taking such a long flight. Also , I had to be here to manage stuff here, cant just lock and leave. So have to give the wedding a miss, but will try to be there on Skype. Hope he has a great married life.
15th July 2012:
The age seems to be catching up, the back issue has worsened ,movements are restricted. Last few years I have struggled to complete my regular chores. The maids and help are around, but you all know how they work. I Better do it myself, or today I wish I could do it myself.Feel helpless and lonely, never thought it could be like this.
16th April : 2016
I thank God for a great life, gave me everything,just that, I wish I cud be with ameya a little more, want him to be 4 yr old again, but I am happy about where he is , I and my wife will live through it.
My Two Cents
If you read the entire thing and are sad about it, then you are AMEYA in your own way.
We as kids grow up, we have our plans, our life and our dreams. Absolutely nothing wrong it, but we tend to forget to include people for whom ‘We’ were always the plan.
Our lives revolved round our dreams, but theirs revolved round making those dreams come true for us.
We grow wings and fly away to leap across the world ,leaving behind those,for whom we are the world.
We have plans but unfortunately they are never part of the plans, we want to fly,fly high but fly alone, without the burden of any responsibility.
Dear all, plan and grow, don’t stop, but make sure your parents are always part of the plan. They are not part-time jobs,they are your full-time responsibility.
Unless ‘DAD’ is part of the plan , its NOT a plan!!
Note : All above names,dates and events are fictional….just in case… if you were wondering.
10th Feb 2015 is one such day that everyone has found a reason to be happy. The phenomenal rise of the AAM AADMI , the common man has made even the biggest of the critics to stop and take notice. But, as I keep looking at the visuals flipping the news channels, I am slowly realizing that this election and its results have given all of us a lesson. We the AAM AADMI, the non political breed can actually incorporate a lot of lessons from these elections in our day to day life. I am ecstatic, that I have got a day in my life, where we can actually take positives and life changing lessons from our political class.This is what I learnt from the great Indian political drama today,
LESSON 1 : Have an Opinion and take a stand
Rewind a few years back and all we can remember are the shamble that the country was in. Suddenly there comes an uprising that will someday make a good read in history books. An old man and his associates stage a protest which goes on to become a national hysteria. One of them realizes that just protests are not working and you have to enter the system. This little man had an opinion about our system, he believed in it decided to launch AAP.
In our lives also lot of times we have our opinions but end up either shutting up or taking politically correct stands. This is purely due to the repercussions that we might have to face. We need to respect our own opinions and have the courage to stand up for them, people may or may not agree, but what is correct is always correct.
LESSON 2 : Take that big bold step
Here we have a man who was the Income tax commissioner, took a plunge into political dirt and came out pure. Most of us are ‘ALMOST’ people. We almost did a lot of things in our lives. The fact is , being almost there can ever be the same as actually being there. Time and again we have raised a leg and pulled it back thinking whether this step is too big for me. TAKE that bold first step, it might pull you back initially but might just give you the leap of your life.
LESSON 3 :Take people along,Be a team.
The success of AAP was never possible without the contributions of the foot soldiers or the other members.The members who believed in each other. Success can be bigger when a team looks for it. We need to learn to be a team man first and then when we become the leader the earlier team man will draw the huge respect from his current team. Arrogance and dictatorial nature can never lead to sustainable success.
LESSON 4 : Make Mistakes
We all have been brought up saying ‘Learn from others mistakes’ but we can never grow without making our share of mistakes. If we keep looking at others mistakes, we might end up achieving what they did, but will never explore our own horizons. Go, Try, Fail and try again. Take mistakes as commas and not the full stops in life.
LESSON 5 : Apologize
It cannot be ruled out that when we make mistakes, intentionally or otherwise, we might end up hurting lot of other people. ‘I Don’t give a damn’ attitude is the weakest response. Once you realize, go out and apologize. It might not correct the past mistakes but will help in restoring the faith. Yes it is true, that uttering the word ‘SORRY’ takes maximum courage and only the men of steel have that.
LESSON 6 : Keep working at the grassroots
Lot of people, irrespective of whether they have succeeded or failed tend to move away from the grass roots. To be continually successful you need to keep working at the grassroot levels and keep trying to gauge the changin g nature of the dynamics at the lowest level. These little changes can bring about a paradigm change in the system.May be this is what the congress didn’t do, during its 15 years of rule in Delhi.
LESSON 7 : Be loyal and reward loyalists.
Private or corporate jobs are more about switch today. But the age old adage of favouring the loyalist always pays. Imagine the plight of shazia ilmi, poor girl saw an opportunity and jumped, only to realize that she is in the wrong boat. On the other hane a certain Kiran bedi did not go down well with the old party loyalists. In an organization loyalty must be appreciated and appropriately rewarded.coz, u always need the people who know your organizations pulse.
LESSON 8 : Be Humble
When over the moon, the most important thing is to have the feet grounded. Only someone who has the ability to stay calm under crisis and be humble in euphoria will reach the pinnacle.
LESSON 9: Make a style statement (of your own)
Lot of us try to be somebody and lose ourselves. A muffler which was joked upon is slowly becoming an icon. A style statement, a piece of cloth that is today highly respected. Be what you are, wear, work and behave the way you want. Once you succeed, the walk , the talk that you made ,everything will become iconic.just be yourself.