Browsing through the social media ,I just can’t stop admiring the beautiful pictures that people post with their better halves. From the pre wedding photo shoots to post wedding pics. From awesome designs on the digital invites to coochy cooing couple pics , people look head over heels in love. I must admit, the pictures ,especially on instagram are enviable and appear straight out of a fairy tale.
But, the moment I log out of the social media and look at real people around me, I fail to understand ,what I just saw on my social media feeds is a farce or is it the world around me?
When I bump into my colleagues, friends or relatives, I find a different world all together. Most of them seem to be struggling with their personal lives, marriages are in doldrums, some have walked out of them, some are contemplating doing that and few of them have chosen to continue ,just like they have been for so many years. Unfortunately, even for those in relationships, a break up is always around the corner and may be it comes up for discussion, or dare I say for arguments between young couples every fortnight.
Be it love marriages or arranged, college romances or office link ups, couples who have dated for six months or since forever, there doesn’t seem to be a sure shot formula for predicting success or failure of a marriage. The real life truly doesn’t seem to be in sync with the glossy made up world of social media.
Though there cannot be one single factor that rocks every marriage, on interacting with people around me , I found one factor, which seems to be common in all cases. I felt ,that most people struggling with their relationships felt SUFFOCATED in that relationship.
Not denying the fact, that when two people decide to spend their entire lives with each other, it is more about them being ‘US’ rather than ‘I’ , but, the fact is, that this loss of individuality takes the first brick off the marriage wall.
One of the integral features of a successful relationship is, that the person lets their other half be themselves. At all different stages of our lives, we grow as individuals, we change as individuals, our thought processes change, our aspirations change, to sum up, we change completely ,or better we evolve.
The moment an individual feels that his or her relationship is acting as a hindrance to him or her being themselves, the frustration creeps in. They may give up their process of evolution, but that frustration starts to show up, as then they might start expecting their partner to give up or at least compromise on his or her priorities too, and when that doesn’t happen, people start feeling cheated or short changed in their relationships.
It is important for both the partners to understand ,that their other half is an Independent entity too, let him or her be whatever they want to be ,beyond being your partner. The biggest mistake that most people make from the onset of their relationship is, that they feel the other person will NEVER CHANGE or if they do, they will change only as per the demands of the relationship. This can never happen. If a person starts doing something that he or she never did, it’s not because of your relationship, it’s just that the way you think changes with time and age. For instance, if your partner was an introvert when the relationship started, but now is an extrovert, then to exclaim that ‘You are not the same person that I had married‘ , is paradoxical to the way humans are expected to grow. It is possible ,that something might have changed in your partners personal or professional lives , that has brought about this behavioral change. Also, every change that you see in your partner is not necessarily caused by your presence in his or her life or by just your relationship, there are countless factors ,which may have lead to this.
The simple way forward is, when in a relationship, we need to be part of each other’s lives, make important decisions together and move forward together, but ,never forget that you are two independent individuals. Take a back seat and enjoy the growth of your partner, emotionally ,professionally or in any which way. It is perfectly ok, to have a different group of friends, different tastes, different priorities. It is not necessary ,that every task that you take has to be joint one, all holidays should be together, all events should co attended. It is normal for your partner to have a friend that you don’t get along with, it is normal for your partner to have a close friend of the opposite sex, if you look carefully ,it’s a mirror, you too are, or can be the same, just give that space unquestioned, and you will never regret it. If you feel ,that you cannot be part of some leg of his or her journey, let them go ahead, and trust me, if they too do the same for you, years down the line, you will find the same person, but in a different and a better avatar next to you , and that is the day the relationship will succeed.
Most of us get married even before we are thirty, by then, we had not understood or explored all our ideas, thoughts,likings,dislikings,ambitions,inhibitions,goals etc. we all end up marrying a person, who hasn’t understood himself or herself completely as yet, and to expect that you have understood the person you are tying the knot with, is naive. When you start finding answers to all above mentioned attributes, you will change, the change you may not see, but your partner surely will. This is the time, to let go of your partner ,let him or her be free, you do the same for yourself and trust me, you won’t lose. The partner may succeed or fail , achieve or miss ,whatever he or she has set out to achieve, but at the end of the journey he or she will always be truly yours. If you can stay single , even when you are married or in a relation, you will be the happiest which surely will reflect in your relationship.
It is that time of the year,when almost everyone is gearing up for the New years. There are folks,who have been making never ending plans. There are some, who are trying to shed the extra kilos. Some are still hunting for ‘that’ stunning dress they gonna wear and then there is me (or people like me) who don’t have a plan for the new years eve and we do not intend to make one.
Its not, that I have not done that ever.In the growing up years, as a teenager , we used to get all excited about the new years. Wanted to see the glam parties and the stuff that goes on.But, that attraction and interest didn’t last long and here are the reasons.
You might be in the middle of the most chaotic time in your personal life or might be going through the worst appraisal at work, but you still need to party.
If, I ask why?
Dude its 31st, how can you not party, the whole world is partying. Lots of people end up at parties so that, they do not feel alienated. you party ,when you want to or when you are really happy, and not just for the heck of it.
You enter any party venue, and then there are a million people stacked in there. These events are always oversold and not to mention the gate crashers. I always felt that at least 30% crowd at such bashes are actually gate crashers. With such a sea of human flesh around, you start feeling suffocated in those small and closed venues. The dance floor is non-existent, there are never ending queues at the buffet counters.we Indians are any which ways never short of crowds. Be it trains,buses ,metros or even streets, please spare me at a party at least. I am here to enjoy!!!!
Free Pass hoarders:
Come December and everybody starts looking for a free invite or a free pass to some new year bash. Lots of people manage to get those and you can actually look at them and recognize when they arrive at the venue. These are those, who are trying to make the most of the opportunity .At times, ill behaved ,loud and in a herd.
Though I am a non-drinker but, have friends who do drink and I have been out with them on multiple occasions. Drinking to enjoy the drink and drinking to get drunk, are two different things. I fail to understand why, but lot of times, even affluent people ,tend to lose their mind ,when they are offered unlimited drinks. They try to gulp a gallon down before the twilight. As the night progresses, these dancing drums of all possible spirits , start with their un describable dance moves and then graduate to throwing up. These sights are unbearable.
Over hyped :
Over the years, I realized all these parties are just over hyped. They are all the same. The themes ,which are used for marketing purposes are ridiculously untrue. From the Russian theme party to the Brazilian samba to moon and back and what not.They just don’t justify the sales pitch.
Any invite to a decent venue is priced from 5K onward ,and the for a 5 star event , they start at 10K. Even the hotel rooms are priced atrociously.Remember, they are exactly the same facilities which are sold at 5 times the price.Honestly, I never found a party,which was actually worth the price we had paid for the invite. In fact, the same hotels and venues offer much better services and quality on the other days.
New years eve , and how can I not mention the traffic. From the by lanes to the highways everything is jam packed. Every car in town is on the road and so are all taxis. The traffic ,starts to build up from early evening and remains the same through the night. The millions walking on streets or near beaches ,start jay walking bring the traffic movement to a crawl.
So what do I do on New years eve?
Well, for me its like an everyday evening. Just that, I don’t go out. Am home and that’s about it.
Let me start by getting into the minds of the cricket fans in India. We live all our childhood playing gully cricket and at the same times following everything that has got something to do remotely with bat and ball. Forget international games, we spend lot of our time in our young days playing and watching local tournaments ,box cricket tournaments and school tourneys on gymkhana grounds.
At some stage in our lives everybody has wanted to be a Gavaskar or Kapil Dev or a Tendulkar. For us they are not just cricketers or just stars , we all see a part of them in ourselves. It might be an absolute illusion, but that’s why the words ‘CRAZY’ & ‘FAN’ always go together.
Most of us will know the statistics of these heroes and their performances.we have heard experts & commentators discussing and analyzing their techniques a thousand times. So at least we feel that we know a lot about them, but obviously that is not true.
When Sachin tendulkar’s restaurant called TENDULKAR’S had opened in Mumbai, I went their time and again for dinners, this inspite that the food was pretty average.The reason was simple, I never went there for food, I went their to see the memorabilia that he had kept there. His bats,jerseys,trophies etc. we were thrilled looking at them from close ,as it made us feel that we are in touching distance of our hero. That’s how the fans think.
On Thursday 29th Sept , I was at PVR ICON, Andheri ,Mumbai to catch another movie and was thrilled when I got to know that M.S. Dhoni, himself was present in the audi for the premiere of his movie. Not that, we got any special treatment, but , just that he was in the same campus as I, it made my evening. That’s how the fans think.
The list of Bollywood releases for the year 2016 got sports fans really excited ,as the list mentioned AZHAR , M.S.DHONI and a movie on SACHIN slated for release. The IPL fever was at its highest when AZHAR finally released, no points for guessing ,I did watch it and sadly walked out of the theatre very very disappointed.
Today I walk out of M.S. Dhoni (the movie) and I am disappointed again.
The so-called biopics that Bollywood makes, have always been a disappointment as first and foremost they have to be politically correct. These movies talk about those aspects of their life or career, which are known to all the fans.Add to that, all the masala that is added to make it a commercial success.
We go into the movie hall, wanting to see and know the ‘OTHER’ side of our heroes, but unfortunately that is non-existent. Also, apart from the struggle , we want to know about the feelings that they went through when they made correct as well as incorrect decisions. The world talked about it, but what was it within their minds. If the unspoken has to remain unspoken, why have a biopic??
What I Got to See in M.S. DHONI, the movie
- His early childhood ands passion for the game.
- Hurdles he faced on his way up.
- The steps he climbed on the way to the top.
Apart from point no 1, I guess the fans knew the other 2. So how is watching this movie different from reading the daily newspapers.
What I (as a fan) wanted to see in the movie.
- His childhood
- What was he told when he was handed over the captaincy. (remember , it was in very controversial scenario)
- What was he thinking when he handed the ball to Joginder sharma in the penultimate over of the 2007 T20 world cup.
- What was the reaction of yuvraj, when suddenly Dhoni decided to bat ahead of him in the 2011 WC finals.
- How did he feel to be ‘AUCTIONED’ in the IPL in its inaugural year.
- What he felt about the failures that he faced as a TEST captain overseas.
These are just some of the questions, the list can go on and on.
The movies don’t present both the sides of a coin. I am not mentioning AZHAR at all, as it was a disaster from the first scene to the last one.
DEAR MAKERS, WE WANT TO SEE THE PERSONALITY OF THESE HEROES FROM WITHIN THEIR REAL MINDS.
What they appear or do superficially is known to all of us.
If 3 hours is not sufficient to do justice to all aspects, why make it?
HOW ABOUT A WEB SERIES??
WE FEEL CHEATED AFTER WATCHING SUCH BIOPICS.
Well, let me start by telling you a little story. Sorry, but I did steal these from the diaries of two people, here goes the excerpts from the first one
From the diary of Ameya Desai,
15th Dec 1989:
Its my 8th birthday and I am ecstatic to be selected in the junior volleyball team at my school, I am surely going to be a great athlete in future, may be some day play for my country at international level.
4th April 1995 :
Wow, I loved riding my new motor cycle today, I always wanted this one and it was great zooming past everyone else like a wind….oooooooooooooooooo felt like I flew today.
6th june 1999:
Biggest day of my life so far, finally got admission to one of the most reputed colleges for engineering in computer science, I am going to rock the course and will surely be the envy of others. I know I have it in me.
17th August 2003:
Just can’t believe this , admission to the dream university in USA is now a reality. Wooo hooo, off to USA tomorrow night, here I come uncle Sam, the world is now mine and I surely will conquer it.
5th Jan 2004:
Cant believe I met her,I knew it was meant to be like this and I knew it since the day I saw here, my batch mate today and I know my soul mate forever.Life cant be more beautiful!!!!
18th March 2005:
Yess yess, it had to be me,I slogged for it, worked for it and now finally got it. Placed from campus with the biggest software giant , and my package, well I wont reveal here , you would be jealous. Ha ha ha!
13th January 2007:
Finally the D-Day has arrived, great to have my mom blessing me on this important day . Finally I am not single anymore, sorry bachelors, I leave your community.
11th September 2012:
Feels great to move into our own 4000 sq ft home in the downtown, will cherish this moment for life.
16th April : 2016
Never knew I would be heading the entire clan at this company, position,power and an awesome pay package, well life looks complete today.
From the diary of Pankaj Desai (Ameya’s Dad),
13th june 1985:
Just dropped Ameya to school, his first day at school, was a bit cranky so had to stay back for sometime, missed my office today , but I guess being with him on the first day at school was more important, office can wait.
4th April 1993 :
Ameya has become a teenager today , need to start saving a little more, will cut down further on my expenses, growing child, his needs will definitely be on the rise, let me be ready.
6th june 1998:
Ameya is doing well at junior college , am sure he will be eligible for admission to a good engineering college next year. I just applied for funds from my provident fund ,will have to keep the fees ready, my child is brilliant and I will make sure that he does not lose this great opportunity to learn.
14th April 2003:
Just finalized the deal for the only piece of land that I owned. Ameya is supposed to fly for his MS in August, needed money to pay his fees, dollar has become too expensive. But then, all my property was meant for him only, no regrets.
15th March 2004:
Ameya just left back for USA, he was here for a month on his vacation. He has grown up so much in last one year. These foreign Universities make them work too much, I am worried, looks like he’s not taking care of his health it seems, but he looked happy and hence I am grateful to GOD. Let me take your leave for today, have a doctor’s appointment, my back has been giving some problem since last few months.
18th March 2005:
Ameya got placed in a huge company, he sounded so happy on phone. Wanted to get up and jump and dance but at my age the health doesn’t let the body be itself, though I am relaxing in the arm-chair, all of me is dancing within.
5th January 2007:
My wife just left for Ameya’s wedding on 13th. The back problem and slipped disc prevented me from taking such a long flight. Also , I had to be here to manage stuff here, cant just lock and leave. So have to give the wedding a miss, but will try to be there on Skype. Hope he has a great married life.
15th July 2012:
The age seems to be catching up, the back issue has worsened ,movements are restricted. Last few years I have struggled to complete my regular chores. The maids and help are around, but you all know how they work. I Better do it myself, or today I wish I could do it myself.Feel helpless and lonely, never thought it could be like this.
16th April : 2016
I thank God for a great life, gave me everything,just that, I wish I cud be with ameya a little more, want him to be 4 yr old again, but I am happy about where he is , I and my wife will live through it.
My Two Cents
If you read the entire thing and are sad about it, then you are AMEYA in your own way.
We as kids grow up, we have our plans, our life and our dreams. Absolutely nothing wrong it, but we tend to forget to include people for whom ‘We’ were always the plan.
Our lives revolved round our dreams, but theirs revolved round making those dreams come true for us.
We grow wings and fly away to leap across the world ,leaving behind those,for whom we are the world.
We have plans but unfortunately they are never part of the plans, we want to fly,fly high but fly alone, without the burden of any responsibility.
Dear all, plan and grow, don’t stop, but make sure your parents are always part of the plan. They are not part-time jobs,they are your full-time responsibility.
Unless ‘DAD’ is part of the plan , its NOT a plan!!
Note : All above names,dates and events are fictional….just in case… if you were wondering.
Since the day a child is born, we indians are made to believe that we are born in the best nation on the planet.We are time and again, in our rote learning system are taught ,that we are the oldest and the best culture in the world. The greatness of the nation and the religions and the gods and languages and history and what not and finally how blessed we are to be Indians.
To cut the crap and coming straight to the point, all this is a big lie that the Indian society tells its kids and may be believes it themselves. The irony of our society is ,when it comes to beliefs (any kind of) logical reasoning is absolutely banned.
Here is what the world thinks of Indians and why we are the worst nation and worst people on the planet,
1) The Europen and West American Travellers society (EWATS) carried out an extensive survey with 12000 travellers who made recent trips (May 2010 to May 2011) to Asian countries Including India , and this is what the travellers responded, 36% said India is a jokeand there is no system for anything. 21% said that they are intrigued ,that how can a nation be so big ,so inorganized and still exists. only 2.36% argued in favour that they enjoyed the vast cultural differences.
2) The Religious observation academy (RORA) based in Rome, in its 3rd quarterly report on religious developments concludes that Hinduism is the second most hated religion in the world. Of the people it spoke to , 29% voted against hinduism, it came second only to Islam at 31.33%. Interesting observation that they made is , most people are scared of Islam but not hate it but its the other way round for Hinduism.
3) The worlds oldest archaeological society , The Community Diggers from France, in their literature published in 2012 clearly state that , Indian Mythology is all made up and it has no substantial proof of observations to believe that all these existed. In an example that they pointed out , they said the RAM SETU between Indian and Sri Lanka is a natural phenomenon and is not possible that some humans (read Lord Rama) could have created it . They argued saying that the existing Setu inspired the story around Lord Rama and not the other way round. They also Concluded, that it is absolutely wrong to say that India is the Oldest Civilization as the claim had no scientific backing.
4) The museum of Religious Literature in Copana, South Chile, does not have any copy of any of the vedas in their collection. THe museum has literature from christanity to islam to buddhism to jewism ,but not Hinduism. They claim that the vedas are a more recent imaginative creation of the indian society and historically do not exist. They say ,unless there is an evidence of somekind to prove their existence say 1000 yrs back, they will include it, but so far that hasnt happened.
5) The Department of study of human behavorial pattern in Massachusetts, USA, Rubbishes the claims made by indians about their behaviour towards elders and religious preachings related to them. They conclude that such practices make children more dependant on parents and curtail growth. Also they believe that it was the selfish behaviour of the parents in the Indian society to create such beliefs. They believe that indian parent are the reason for the sufferings on the indian children.
I think the above Reasons are sufficient enough to conclude that India and Indian people and Indian Culture are absolutely FAKE.
===Now , you cannot leave without reading this..continue=
First of all My apologies to all Fellow Indians . Yes the above write up is all fake and Cooked up. None of the Societies or Museum or departments exist. Its all false.
But now go back to when you started reading,
1) Some of you judged my write up even before you started reading it, as it had an explosive headline.
2) Most of you almost believed (though disagreed) with what was being written as i could back it up with some names that sounded real and made them look authentic.
3) Most of us Indians got really angry while reading and hurled abuses at me while reading and, were just waiting for the write up to finish so that you can post nasty comments against it.
4) and some of you never reached here, read it half way, closed the window,wrote nasty comments and left, sorry my apologies will never reach you.
so whats the point….
Dear all, see it is so easy for anyone to write something crap and make it look authentic and post it. i could have written a more explosive and offensive stuff against India or a religion or a community or religious leaders. But i didnt want to take it to that level.
but unfortunately , some people in our society do so for their vested intertests and political gain.
We at times are naive to believe it and propagete it by sharing on social media.
How may times do we think or check the authenticity before sharing something??
DO we feel more more religious by posting something against other religion ?
DO we think of the long term repurcussions? …. unfortunately the unedited and unreliable social media controls our beliefs and thought process today.
Its a humble request to one and all, yess it it great to be expressive, but why post or share something against some country/religion/leader etc. yess, if it is a positive thought or a story , go ahead and share it, but if its negative and you are not sure or have not checked the authenticity, DO NOT SHARE.
There are too many people and bodies , trying to divide us, lets not help them by sharing their fake propaganda.
As I recline my seat and make myself comfortable for watching the latest Bollywood release in a nearby Multiplex, I am surprised when the multiplex plays a trailer of a to be released Marathi movie. Am impressed with the promo, the plot looks good and so is the treatment of the subject, but though I appreciate the promo I don’t make any plans of catching that movie the following week.
As my Bollywood pot boiler unfolds , my disappointment increases with every frame as the movie goes from bad to worse and I just wait for it to get over. Well, I am not surprised thou, as I had fair idea that it was not going to be great and honestly I just came in as it was the most promoted and talked about big banner release with mega stars. Also this was not the first time that I was watching a big banner bull shit, where the makers had succeeded in luring me into their film.
Now as I walk out of this much hyped ,zero on content melodramatic nonsense, I start questioning my sensibilities as too why on earth are we awestruck just by Bollywood, when the regional language makers are churning out a more sensible stuff.
We the people of Maharashtra (me included) have been always guilty of going for the glam quotient without giving a proper thought to the Marathi options that we have. I feel that it’s time we start giving Marathi Movies their due and I have 5 reasons to do so,
The Marathi releases that we have seen in recent past have been great in content, where the writers still hold the forte and are given the due importance. Unlike Bollywood, the emphasis is not just on the scale but also on the story that needs to be told.
It’s a known fact that most actors in these movies are from theatre background and hence are tremendous performers.From Sachin Khedekar to Swapnil Joshi to Sonali kulkarni to Atul Kulkarni and many many more. These are brilliant performers and essay their part with so much ease and are so convincing. These guys don’t need over the top dialogues or reactions to put across their stuff.
Grey cells come alive:
Lot of times these movies touch upon sensitive topic that they actually make you think. We are more often than not worried about the world issues rather than issues closer to the home. These movies remind us about them once in a while.
These movies are not always about billion dollar business magnets or an army basher individual super hero, but most times they are about people like you and me and our lives. Looking at characters you can believe that they exist and you might bump into one of them any moment in your life.
Reading through the write up, if you thought that these movies are less of entertainment and more of a documentary, let me warn you, you will be pleasantly surprised at the lively treatment of the subjects. Good music and locales are part of all these movies off late. So never low on entertainment quotient.
FINALLY: I don’t want a diktat from Shiv Sena or MNS or someone else about the number of shows or timings etc. all of us who understand Marathi should give good content a chance to grow. Am sure if we do, the industry grows , so does the language and most importantly we have great content to keep us entertained.
GO BUY YOUR TICKETS NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It just cannot be denied that Facebook and Watsapp have done wonders in bringing back lost contacts into our lives. Old friends ,family members, classmates,college mates, the train gangs , you name it and you have a group for it. Being part of a dozen groups is pretty normal for even the least social souls.With these groups ,there came the idea of reunions and organizing meetings with old pals. An occasional outstation trip or just a mere dinner ,its discussed exhaustively in every group. The restaurants , the hotels ,banquets etc. are not complaining, but before the gala event happens, the biggest hurdle is to get the gang going, this is when the organazing team bumps into the following members in the group.Go on,read it and identify yourself.
- The Ever Enthusiastic :
Every group will have a member(s), who are constantly trying to organize a get together. They are available 24X7, 365 days and are always ‘IN’ for a trip. Be it for a trip to local panipuri wala or the Alps, their bags are always ready to go.
- The Busybee:
Now, this guy/gal is the busiest person alive. Even if you plan a trip on 30th Feb,this member will have a prior appointment and needless to say it cannot be cancelled. At times you feel that it is easier to accomodate Barack Obama in your schedule than this Busybee.
- The Budget maniac:
If you offer this member a Mumbai- Delhi return flight at 500 Rupees, he/She will find it overpriced and will demand a better pricing.Nothing in the world can convince them that the trip cannot be made at a price lower than that, and more often than not they will never have better options to give, so just bug the group.
- All in a Family:
Yaar Mummy-Papa /In Laws/Spouse allow nahi karenge. These kinds need to patao their family for travelling from their bedroom to the living room.They are constantly looking for a friend who can bell the cat at home.But lot of times the other members make sure that they stay out of it.
- Early Bird:
No no, its not the person who arrives early. This member will arrive at the get together seated in a car coming in for a pit stop. The only thing that this member will talk about is, that He/She has to leave early and the 229 reasons for that. Other members reaction ‘YE AAYA/AAYI HI KYUN’.
- Last Minute Jerk:
Am sure this fellow is the most hated member of the group. He/She has a reputation of cancelling or dropping out of the plans at the very last minute. Something so urgent has to come up (Always) that they don’t have an option but to cancel. Everyones resolution, and messages on personal chat says “WE WILL NEVER INVITE THIS FELLOW AGAIN EVER”.
- Queen Bee:
This is the most popular /prettiest gal in the group. Attendance of lot of members (read guys) depends on her presence at the gathering.If she doesn’t confirm early, a lot of replies will see ‘I will Try’. The moment she confirms, those tries become affirmations.
- The Dead :
Every group will have members who are just readers. You might at times get replies from tombs but not these guys. They are silent readers who wont even bother to even acknowledge any references made to them. They definitely top my HATE LIST.
- The Awkward one:
This now includes those members who really want to join in, but are scared of the awkwardness that he/She might have to deal with.Coz,amongst the members planning to attend are the Ex’s or friends turned foes or that one face you were happy to have forgotten.
- The unknown member:
There is this member (from school,college) who no one remembers , but is the most vocal on the group.People respond to this members remarks just to be polite , followed by a series of msgs to their best friends personal chat, “Yeh Kaun Stupid hai,I don’t even know Him/Her”, and guess wat the other person is as clue less.
- The Travel monster:
To this member the venue is always an issue. A 15 minute Rickshaw ride is way too far and always wants the place to be little closer.The best way to tackle this member is to send a Dominos home delivery.